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shudderingwords

~ Meanderings of a New Writer

shudderingwords

Tag Archives: again

External Communication (A School Project)

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by shudderingwords in Writing

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#here, again, is, on, probably, project, school, sorry, that, this, won't happen

(This is a class project that I am doing. The purpose of the assignment is to show that the students in the class know how to communicate via modern technology. We had a choice between making a Youtube Video or a Blog Post. I chose the latter. This post focuses on the concept of external communication which is shown in a scene of my friend and I talking about our different levels of interest in a girl. While there are other concepts here such as internal or non-verbal communication, it’s the external concept that I was wanting to focus on because it is, by far, the one that is implemented the most. Here we go.)

“Dude! You see her?” Joe pointed her out to me, a girl walking down one of the paths leading between campus buildings. I nodded, eyeing her dark hair and thin frame. Definitely beautiful, but not someone I was really interested in. Girls were not something that I wanted to deal with right now.

Joe glanced at me with a thoughtful eye, a slight smirk on his fair face, “You wanna talk to her?”

“No, not really.” I shook my head, sighing sharply, feeling slightly apprehensive. I had always hated being pushed to do something, always wanting to do it in my own time. Joe never seemed to have understood that, even after knowing me for about 3 years.

“Dude, come on, really?” He put a firm hand on my shoulder and faced me, “She’s gorgeous! Look, she’s getting away!” He flipped a palm in her direction.

I watched as she disappeared into a building, dark hair rippling in the air like ribbons caught in a breeze.

“It doesn’t matter Joe, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.”

“Who said anything about anything working out? I was just saying that you should get to know her!” He paused, “Do you think I should talk to her if we see her again?”

“Sure, I don’t care.” I shrugged and smiled lightly, “You can have any girl you want right now. I’m not really looking.”

“Is this about that last girl, dude?” He still faced me and looked me deeply in the eye, trying to see if he can catch me in a lie.

I told the truth, “No, Joe. It’s not her. Don’t worry about it. That girl just didn’t look my type.”

“Whatever, man. Your loss.” He finally turns away and looks back to the door where the girl walked through.

I sit next to him awkwardly, finally asking, “So, you wanna get some lunch?”

“Yeah, man, thought you wouldn’t ask.” He smiles and claps me on the back with a warm hand, “We’ll find you someone.”

“Sure, dude. We’ll see.” I punch him in the arm, and we walk.

(While a short exchange, I think that it conveys a lot of meaning about us. It’s us exchanging messages between each other, and we get to share some of what we are thinking. I wasn’t really keen on approaching the girl, and I let him know it. At the same time, he lets me know that he is really attracted to the girl and wants me to share that sentiment. Most of these messages are shared verbally.)

Writing Is Coming Along

19 Saturday May 2012

Posted by shudderingwords in update

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about, again, blogging, just not sure yet, on, other, planning, some, things, update, Writing

Slowly but surely, my book is coming along. It’s been pretty hard balancing work, school and editing my book. I’m working about 40 hours a week between the two jobs, and on top of school, which is only a couple days a week, writing has been hard to take a prevalent part of my life. Of course, I have been making time for it, but it’s been harder than before. Once I go back to a part time job and college, things should be a bit different. Maybe not time-wise, but my focuses should be a but different!

Anyway, I have been reading through my first draft, and I must say, not too shabby. Considering most of it was written in a month, with every entry written late at night, powered by coffee. Of course, it’s nothing to sing home about, but it’s definitely better than I had originally thought that it would be. I love the way that I have made the world pretty dark and gruesome, but then at the same time, keeping a few things that are nice about it. I hint at old grandeur fairly often, hinting that there is more to this world than what is immediately apparent. I love the descriptions and the subtle horrors that lie within.

The only thing that I’m not absolutely crazy about, is the way that I present my characters. I don’t think that I go far enough into their heads to where I can make them seem human. It almost seems like they are just cardboard cutouts that move around to these obscenely detailed places, making them do robotic things. At least, that is how it seems in the very beginning. A few chapters in, and I can see that I had been realizing this as I was writing, but had not bothered to go back and fix those problems. The characters start to flesh out later, but I need them to have more motivation and drive in the beginning. That way, I can hook the reader and get them invested into the story.

Not bad, but definitely needs some work. However, I am still really excited about my idea here. The plot has so much potential and I can’t wait until it is polished. I have a good friend reading my first draft, warts and all, just so that she can give me some of her honest opinion.

Before I had handed her the draft, she read the first chapter and loved it. She said that I had a great style with my words and that excited me greatly. We’ll see what else she says about the rest of it.

 

P.S. Still thinking about whether or not I wanna have a blog that is exclusively featuring my writing. Haven’t been able to really think about it.

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