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shudderingwords

~ Meanderings of a New Writer

shudderingwords

Tag Archives: life

Direction

19 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by shudderingwords in Musing

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Tags

career, catholic, hope, journey, joy, life, love, peace, religion

My path carries me on through turbulent seas. Peach sunlight washes over me and I smile as I watch the last of the leaves fade off and decay as the face of winter begins to reveal himself. But this is expected and maybe that is why I smile. I know what is going to happen and how they are going to pass and I find comfort.

But like a blind man trying to find himself in a forest cast into the darkness of night, I wander my way through my life, trying so very desperately to find direction. I know that there is an end, and my hands stretch forth in a way that only increases my desire for it!

And maybe this is why I stretch for it. For the hope that I will one day be fulfilled beyond a comprehension that I possess, to find a love that will satisfy my desire, and that I will in that satisfaction share to the rest of the world. For is that not the goal of love; that once we have it, we can’t help but blossom like a rose and share the beauty that we possess?

My fingers move like the pianist playing a song that has long been familiar to him as I walk through my routine, all in the hopes that I will find this direction toward this love. I have hope. And that is enough.

 

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The March Continues

29 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by shudderingwords in update

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blog, book, gaming, life, schedules, school, update, wrath, Writing

The march is endless and I am caught in the current of its continuous tide. The waters fill my mouth and lungs, causing me to spit and spew what words I can in order to keep my head above  the waves. Others that move through the waters do the same thing, and I can’t help but feel that it is in some way all pointless. I suppose that in the grand scheme of things, what we do matters, but it is hard to know that when you taste the salt and grime of a particularly harsh wave.

School, a word that makes people think of a multitude of things. Actual learning is not usually one of those things when thinking of the experience, though it is the reason that we go. At least, that’s what we like to tell ourselves. The point that I am trying to pass on right now is the excuse of why I haven’t been writing lately, and why I have apparently fallen off of the face of the earth.

If I were to simply state that it was school that was keeping me away from my writing, then that would be a bold faced lie. Work, television, and video games are huge culprits in this crime. I have finished my first year of college as of three weeks ago and I have been content to sit back and let my brain rot away for that small hiatus. Now, however, I’ve been itching to do productive things, and so writing has decided to take the seat in my mind once again.

Within the next couple of weeks, I’ll be settling back down into a schedule. These things of course take a bit of time, but when I do, you can expect to see Wrath and his miserable plight taking flight once more. Ideas dance with different masks, eager for me to discover who they really are. I look forward to the challenge in rigid anticipation, and Wrath will once more adorn the pages of this blog.

Farewell for now; much more frequent delights are coming soon.

Bilbo and Gandalf say hello!! :D

Bilbo and Gandalf say hello!! đŸ˜€

College And My Book

10 Monday Sep 2012

Posted by shudderingwords in update

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Tags

book, college, lack, life, me, of, people, photo, photography, picture, studying, time, update

The path often seems daunting.

Aside from the overwhelming amount of homework that seems to be building up around me, I think that I am enjoying my first year in College. Yes, it’s a headache meeting tons of people that you don’t know, or having to deal with slightly more than annoying teachers, but I think that I am, over-all, enjoying my experience.

Most of my classes are what I expected. Math, of course, is the worst one that I’m currently having to suffer through. Algebra and Trig. Ugh.. They are the absolute worse! It’s my last math class that I will ever have to take, ever, though. And that thought alone is what is keeping me motivated through it all. In the meantime, however, I will be eyeing that bowl of chalk that I could rather be eating than learning math.

Speech, oddly enough, is a class that I am enjoying immensely. So far at least. Most of that fact is that I have been able to escape any speech giving so far, but I think that we will be ignoring that fact for now. For pride’s sake ;). We shall have to see how much I still enjoy it after we are assigned a real speech. Maybe I’ll become the next prophet! You never know.

My favorite class so far, and by no stretch of the imagination, is my Literature class. We just finished the Iliad and are now beginning the first stages of reading the Odyssey. I love Greek and Roman literature, and this class is simply reading, discussing, and then writing about what we just read and talked about. My three favorite things to do with something that I enjoy! My Professor is absolutely hysterical and knows what he is talking about. His love for the subject also carries over into our conversations and makes the class that much more interesting. I’m very excited about the discussions that we are going to have on the Odyssey! I know that I’ll be laughing to his sarcastic enactments of the gods and men.

While all of this is going on, though, I will still be working on my book. It’s so slow in coming, but it’s coming and I carry a notebook with me just in case I need to write down some fantastic idea! I’m feeling much better about it this time around, it’s only on its second draft, so it’s still rough, but hey, it’s already better than the first draft! That’s saying a lot, I think.

One thing about it though, is that I’m thinking of blogging parts of it. Chapters here and there, just to see how people react to it. I know that I will be writing what I want, and not what everyone else wants, but if people like it, I will gain more of a following. That way, if I ever publish (Which is my dream) I will already have a small fanbase who will only then spread word. It’s an idea that I’m still playing with in my head, seeing how I would be able to do school, work, and keep up with a consistent update of my book as well as knowing what I want to put out there. I know some people liked the first chapter that I posted a little while back, so I definitely want to post more. It’s time that is the problem. What do you guys say?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Urban

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by shudderingwords in Photography

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

bank, building, city, fort wayne, life, photo, photography, stillshot, street, weekly photo challenge

City buildings

In Ten Days, My New Life Starts

10 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by shudderingwords in update

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

classes, college, fun!, life, now, starting, university

As of August 20th my college life goes into full effect. I will be majoring in English with a concentration on writing and as far as a minor goes, I’m not sure what I will be doing as of yet (Main decisions are Journalism and Marketing). I will have to see what the classes are like before I really decide.

This first semester, I am doing general studies and prerequisites. A couple of them, I absolutely abhor, but I feel that if I get them out of the way now, I will have a much more enjoyable experience during the rest of my college career. It means waiting, but that’s something that I’ll have to learn at some point, right?

The first class I’m taking is English 131, a basic mandatory English course that is the first stepping stone into the writing field. I’m going to enjoy this one I think, but probably not as much as I’m going to enjoy the Creative Writing that I’m going to be taking Junior year.

Next is Speech. Ugh. This is one class that I’m going to hate the most due to my incredible disinterest and fear of getting up in front of people. I hated it in High School and didn’t enjoy it any more by the end of the class than I did in the beginning. But, there is no way that I’m going to be waiting until my final Semester when I’m all burnt out to finish this thing. It’s going to be done now!

Third up is a Literature course in Western Masterpieces. I’m excited about this one, yet a little apprehensive due to the massive amount of reading that I’m going to do. I think some of my hesitant feelings are due to having a college prep class during High School where we were reading a book every other week. I know I can do it, but the amount of time and effort is going to be a challenge. I will be happy to do it, but I know that by the time that it’s finished, I’ll be ready for a break!

The fourth class that I’m taking is Math. More specifically, Algebra and Trigonometry.  Not sure what to think about this class. Never received a grade below a B in a math class, but I have never enjoyed it. We shall see.

And my last class is Astronomy. Don’t know what to think about this one either, but I’m kinda excited about this one, mainly because I love space. I’m curious about how everything works, so this, I think, is going to be a new adventure! Who knows, maybe I’ll find another passion!

All in all, I’m pretty excited for the school year to start! I’ll be busy, but I’m going to be trying to work on my writing as usual. I should be able to post the first chapter of my second draft here in the next few days when I’m happy with it! I would love it if I could get some feedback on it!

Cheers!

Ben.

As Bambi says: "Flower!"

Aww! Ain’t they right durn prettay!

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