It’s a kind of feeling that I can’t really seem to explain. Old cliches come to mind, but they don’t do what I am feeling justice. I am so blessed with a wonderful family, solid friends, and an education that just keeps growing. I have my Religion which has been making me happier and happier every single day, and my love for it keeps growing. I am lacking nothing as I have a job, money, food, and everything else that I could ever need. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t deserve it all. There is a nagging that says in my ear, “you shouldn’t have this”. And sometimes I feel like that nagging is right. But I know that, ultimately, it isn’t right. I know that I am where I am, because I have been blessed with so much. Then, when I am ready, I will help others more than I have been already with the resources that I have been given.
I know that I have been posting a lot of this stuff lately, but it’s all true, and I can’t help but continue in my expression of it. I hope that some people will realize that things aren’t all that bad. I mean, things are bad, but times will get better like they always do. Keep on swimming, as Dory says. Better days are ahead. How much further are they? We can never know, but we can know that they are there.
I think that I’ll make a real post tomorrow. It’s been long over-due.
Aside from the overwhelming amount of homework that seems to be building up around me, I think that I am enjoying my first year in College. Yes, it’s a headache meeting tons of people that you don’t know, or having to deal with slightly more than annoying teachers, but I think that I am, over-all, enjoying my experience.
Most of my classes are what I expected. Math, of course, is the worst one that I’m currently having to suffer through. Algebra and Trig. Ugh.. They are the absolute worse! It’s my last math class that I will ever have to take, ever, though. And that thought alone is what is keeping me motivated through it all. In the meantime, however, I will be eyeing that bowl of chalk that I could rather be eating than learning math.
Speech, oddly enough, is a class that I am enjoying immensely. So far at least. Most of that fact is that I have been able to escape any speech giving so far, but I think that we will be ignoring that fact for now. For pride’s sake ;). We shall have to see how much I still enjoy it after we are assigned a real speech. Maybe I’ll become the next prophet! You never know.
My favorite class so far, and by no stretch of the imagination, is my Literature class. We just finished the Iliad and are now beginning the first stages of reading the Odyssey. I love Greek and Roman literature, and this class is simply reading, discussing, and then writing about what we just read and talked about. My three favorite things to do with something that I enjoy! My Professor is absolutely hysterical and knows what he is talking about. His love for the subject also carries over into our conversations and makes the class that much more interesting. I’m very excited about the discussions that we are going to have on the Odyssey! I know that I’ll be laughing to his sarcastic enactments of the gods and men.
While all of this is going on, though, I will still be working on my book. It’s so slow in coming, but it’s coming and I carry a notebook with me just in case I need to write down some fantastic idea! I’m feeling much better about it this time around, it’s only on its second draft, so it’s still rough, but hey, it’s already better than the first draft! That’s saying a lot, I think.
One thing about it though, is that I’m thinking of blogging parts of it. Chapters here and there, just to see how people react to it. I know that I will be writing what I want, and not what everyone else wants, but if people like it, I will gain more of a following. That way, if I ever publish (Which is my dream) I will already have a small fanbase who will only then spread word. It’s an idea that I’m still playing with in my head, seeing how I would be able to do school, work, and keep up with a consistent update of my book as well as knowing what I want to put out there. I know some people liked the first chapter that I posted a little while back, so I definitely want to post more. It’s time that is the problem. What do you guys say?